Dear Power Greater Than Myself,
Today, as we approach a new year, I pray for addicts of every kind, that we may accept that resolutions can’t save us.
I pray for everyone who understandably chose to use vodka, or weed, or pills or gambling or binge eating to get through the isolation of this last year; but who have lost the ability to CHOOSE and are addicted, that they might ask for help, no matter how impossible that may feel.
I pray for all of us who think that this time will be different. That this time, unlike every other time, we will muster up enough willpower to stop; that we might accept that if will power was enough, we would already have changed.
I pray for the ones who are still lying to everyone (including themselves) – because they can’t stomach the idea of giving up the high, even though the high is costing them so much more than it is giving them.
I pray for everyone who is watching our friends and family destroy themselves that we might know that if love could get someone sober, it would have already happened, and that it’s ok to love and let go.
I pray for everyone who is hiding their relapse, that they might know they did not fail and that there is no shame in hitting the reset button. (We love you. Come back, please.)
I pray for those who feel we are too far gone, that we may know that there is no hell from which you are not capable of rescuing your children.
Be with everyone who suffers from this shit. Help us know that there is not enough resolve, not enough love, not enough willpower to overcome the beasts of addiction, but that there is enough power and that power does not have to come from us but mercifully comes from you, and there is always enough if we avail ourselves of it.
Thank you for these 29 years of my sobriety.
That’s a long time for a girl like me to not wake up in my own sick but in someone else’s bed.
For what, where, and whom do the people of God pray?
Comments are open. (But don’t be an asshole.)
If you’d like to support my work and get more content and engagement with me and others here, you can subscribe to The Corners using the button below. You will have access to essays, conversation threads, Q & A, and all the archives. If you’d like access to all the content here but a paid subscription isn’t for you, no problem, we give them free to absolutely anyone who emails us at firstname.lastname@example.org! This is for everyone.